Yesterday was a bad day. Not because of cancer but rather with life in general. It started out bad. It never got better.
We have cats. Actually we have cats and dogs but at one time we had 8 cats and all but 3 were feral. Maybe we have "sucker written on our foreheads but we took in every stray we ran across for a while. As of yesterday morning we are down to 4.
For the last month we have watched as one of the outdoor cats got thinner and thinner and began losing hair. We gave him worm medication and fed him tuna and salmon but he continued on a downward spiral. For the last week we put him in the bathroom at night with food, water, and a soft blanket and let him out in the morning. We will be needing a new bathroom door. Sunday evening I carried him into the bathroom, set him down, and provided him a bowl of albacore tuna. "The good stuff", not the nasty cheap stuff! When I opened the door yesterday morning it was clear that he had not moved all night. His food and water was untouched. He had to be put down.
I was late for work yesterday because I had to bury the cat. His name was "Ozzy" He was a big, solid black, "Tom Kitty" and he was a good boy!
Yesterday I had band practice and because I was late for work and had to stay late to make up the hours I lost, I was in a hurry to get home. On the way out the door, a co-worker said "Have a good evening" I foolishly replied, " It can't get any worse" WRONG!! It can always get worse!
On the way home my old clunker work truck decided to over heat. I let it cool down and for the next 3 miles, I drove it up the hills and then shut off the engine to cool it as I coasted down the other side. I got home but for a while it was questionable if the truck would make it.
Practice went great. We played a lot of great music and had a good time doing it. After practice I headed home. The first thing I did was look at the mail for the day. I opened a letter from a company who is in charge of online fishing and hunting license sales in Washington. The letter stated that all of my personal information had been stolen. Yay!!
After absorbing that blow, I took the camper off of the Dodge so I could drive it to work in the morning.
Finally it was bedtime. I showered then brushed and flossed my teeth. While flossing, I popped a crown. $&@?
Every trial brings with it a gift if we can only distance ourselves from the situation far enough to see it. I did not see any of my gifts until this morning. I wasn't really looking for them. I'm still not but some have become self evident. Sure, my truck needs repair but at least it broke down on my way home and not on my way to work. My personal information was stolen but I have 2 years of free credit and identity theft monitoring. Everything is a matter of perspective.
Cancer Sucks!! There is no other way to see it but even cancer brings gifts. They are not always self evident. Sometimes we must search for them. Sometimes we must step out of our situation to see the blessings. Is it the chicken or the egg? I had a thought but it died of loneliness.
Does cancer cause blessings or is it the blessing. Perspective!
This morning I had a revelation of truth. It is one of recurrence. I am the happiest I have ever been. I am not proud of parts of my journey but in aggregate they brought me to this place. Embrace the suck! Todd